Meditation and Love

Hey Devi,

                    Recently I tried meditating the Budhhist way which is also known as Vipassana and it was a divine experience to be in present. 

Studying about Vedanta everyday and making improvements. But to whom? to whom I am making improvments? to my mind because my consciousness is spotless and colorless. It doesn't need any improvement. 

One more thing I came across is live in your real nature which is atman and not in your mind which is filled with worldy identities and stress and darkness and habits etc. We must realize this we have infinite power and these little challenges in life are nothing in front of Atman.

As a human we must make our lives and our personalities beautiful. We must love and respect ourselves so much that if we look into a mirror we say " Thank you man! I love you and how you are! ".

We need richness of life. We need that joy and beauty and it will not happen automatically we must work on it and build it. Only then we can love and respect ourselves truly.

Imagine you take rotten food to your date and your girlfriend starts eating it and she starts appreciating it. What would you think in that moment? Of course she is a fool to eat that rotten food. 

Same way you know your life is unsatisfying and you have failed so many times at so many things that now you have lose all love and respect for yourself. If someone will love this miserable person then you will start disrespecting her/him.

If someone would love you in your current state then will you respect them? no! 

So first rise in your own eyes, take risk, do big things and love yourself first. Build a worthy life only then you will be able to accept love.

My first responsibility is to look at myself, constanlty observe myself to know if I am on the right path or the path of decline. I must shed my ego and accept my reality. 

Only then I will be able to love or be loved by someone. 

Goal is to shed all tricks and be simple. Yes, I have been though hell but I have not fallen. I will not and I don't need anyone else to pick me up. I will die standing than to live on my knees. If I will be great then automatically I will love and respect myself.

It's not easy and you will get hurt on every step but that is life. One day doctor will say only 2 months left? what then huh? How can one live being weak. Even before us we will see our loved ones die. How will we face life if we are scared of every little inconvienience. 

Face suffering head on like Arjun sitting on the five horsed charriot rushing into battle against the greatest army of all time. We are in the same situation except we are that version that left battlefield and hid into the jungle. 

These are some learnings and observations I have made. I wonder how life would be when one lives his life free from mind's darkness. 

Thanks for your grace and love divine mother.

Some Spiritual Observations

Hey Devi,

                    How are you? well recent times have been very tough for me with increasing pain and diagnosis of a new health condition. Managing day to day normal life is getting hard and painful. I don't know how long my inner organs gonna function properly. 

 

No one understands how hard it is to be like this. 

Kathavachaks say in this life we have happiness and suffering and bliss and disease.

But in my experience the moment of joy and happiness are very short while pain and suffering are continuous non-stop.

What if I don't run away? What if someone see the pain and does not associates it with suffering? I am reading Drig Drishya Viveka and I can see how this world is, for a short time but yeah I too get absorbed away into this chaos.

Thanks to great saints and our ancient rishis I can pause and see beyond my gain and loss. 

Suffering is constant, and happiness is short lived. This is the experience of my life have been so far. Hmm Let's see what happens.

Thank you for your grace divine mother, I am grateful for every little thing you do for me everyday and for the people in my life. I have nothing to ask for... I mean " who " is going to ask? my ego self? well it will never be satisfied. The true self? well it is you so yeah I thank you so much and I would like to repeat what the Rishis of Upanishads said. 

" Guide me from the darkness, to light "